How not to write an issue note to a store owner

For the record, I,  for some reason seem to get my fair share of strange and silly requests.  Luckily, I get really very few complaints about my items.  Which I am extremely grateful for.  However, last night I received a rather rude complaint letter that attacked one of my products that I honestly have never received anything but great comments about.

Now, some may think at this point - well, bring on the letter.  I am not going to share it.  My reason is I don't want to give the person who wrote it any more power than they already have.  What I am going to do is explain how to properly address an issue with a store owner and how not to.  Sadly, it appears that a few people need a lesson in proper behavior and me being the snarky bitchy elf that I am - I am the one who is going to give it.  Because, A - I don't care what people think about me.  B. - I am not going to sugar coat something just to make it taste better.  If you recognize yourself in any of the following things I write - you might want to check your actions.

Now here we go....

First of all, when you write to a store owner ALWAYS include your transaction history.  I mean it.  It saves time.  During a day we could have had a hundred transactions or more.  Seriously, some times things are that busy.  If you don't include one, we might spend awhile searching through our vendor history for you.  That slows down you receiving a successful resolution to your issue.  Also, for me at least, I am possibly less likely to play nice with others if you make me jump through a billion and one hoops for you because you didn't follow instructions.  Yeah, I am that temperamental.  Also, sometimes you may have purchased the item.  The Lindens, we have heard on high, have taken your money and my vendors may not have a record of it having happened - because sometimes the Lindens don't play nice with others or my vendors decide to play the Exorcist. Spraying peas soup and everything - not an attractive trait.  If I don't have your transaction history, I will have no record of a payment ever having been made.  So, boys and girls, say it with me "Transaction History Is My Friend."  Good job, you just earned the right to read on to part two.

If you didn't understand the last section - re-read the damn thing until it sinks in for you.

Now, you have your transaction history on the note card - which is awesome - because it means you can follow instructions.  You win a gold star.  What do you put on the note card now?  Well, put some sort of greeting.  No, don't put - "Hey, How you doin?"  One, you sound like an idiot and two, you sound like an idiot.  You can put - "Hey ________________, (the owners name in the blank spot)  or Hello, or Help".  Any of those would work.  For me, if you put, "Goddess, my Goddess" usually gets my attention pretty fast because it means you notice my greatness.  Just putting "Hey" down for a few business owners gets your card ignored.

After your greeting, then state your issue politely.  Yes, even if you are angry as hell.  DO NOT INSULT THE DESIGNER.  Do not call the product crap, shit, garbage, a waste of money.  Yes, even if it was.  It takes hours and sometimes days and weeks to create items for Second Life.  A lot of blood, sweat, screaming, and tears go into them.  Yes, even if the item is a template.  Explain clearly and as concisely as you can what your issue is.  Don't ramble about your dog or how you need to pee.  Really, I am glad you can use the toilet or outhouse or bush - but I don't need to know about it.  I also don't need to know about your pets.  Just explain what your issue is like : I didn't receive my product or the box arrived empty or this isn't what I purchased or I somehow wound up with 70 of them..  Though creators may appear to be awesome and totally faultless in the world - most of us are human.  I seriously question a few designers when you see what they bring out though and you know who you are.  But, alas,  being human we make mistakes.  We sometimes have issues too.  Vendors mess up.  It is life.  Stuff happens.  Be calm, in most cases, we can fix it.

When you are done explaining your issue - close your note with a Thank you.  One, it is polite and your mamma raised you with good manners.  Unless you lived with a bunch of wolves - and in that case type - Woof.  Two, Sign your name - both your persona name and your SL name.  Why? Because sometimes we can't contact you with just your persona name.  Sometimes you can't with the SL name.  Sometimes we just want to know who we are trying to fix an issue for.

Now, you wait.  Usually we can get back to you within 48 hours.  I am saying 48 as a generalization.  Usually it is a ton earlier.  Sometimes it might be later.  We have RL too.  We aren't ALWAYS in world.  Sometimes we have to do things like eat or sleep.  Yeah, I know the whole being alive thing really sucks.  We will get back to you though.  Because here is the big secret - WE WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY.  Yeah, I know, shocking.  But it is true.  We want you to be happy so you come back to the store.  You bring your friends.  Then your friends bring their friends and so on.  We want you to spend your money with us so we can make more awesome stuff for you and the whole vicious circle can begin again.

Ok, I think that covers it.  Just be polite.  Treat us like you would want to be treated.  It makes everyone much happier.  Plus, we talk.  Yeah, shop owners talk.  We tell each other about the crazy stuff that happens to each other.  We ask each other for advice.  You really don't want to become known for being the one who was the pain in the ass.

I hope that this has helped you out.  A lot of this is really common sense and common courtesy.  Respect is a two way street.  Plus, you really don't want to be on the receiving end of one of my more postal responses.

Take care-
Scout